


Who You Are Now

by KuroBakura



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Confessions, Confrontations, Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Sherlock, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Male Slash, Out of Character, Past Drug Use, Secrets, Sherlock Holmes and Drug Use, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 21:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8683633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuroBakura/pseuds/KuroBakura
Summary: Sherlock has an emotional breakdown after Lestrade and the gang let John in on a dark secret about Sherlock's past. But...that does not mean that John thinks less of him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Please do not flame or bash. Thanks!

 

John walked into the living room and saw Sherlock standing near the window, looking out of it. It looked like Sherlock has been crying since the whole thing happened.

“Sherlock?” John asked. Sherlock did not respond to him. He just kept staring out the window, not making a movement or a sound. He swallowed, trying to hold back tears. All he felt like doing at this point was cry and wishing he just could disappear. He was not only hurting but he felt like John was hurting, too after what Lestrade and the gang told him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” John asking a different question. This time, Sherlock responded by looking at him.

“No, why?” Sherlock replied. John knew that something was up with him but he was not going to pointing it out but, he did want to help Sherlock but not make him feel any worst than he does already. 

“Sherlock, if you need to talk, I'm here for you. ” John told him. Sherlock sighed. With what happened earlier, Sherlock was not sure what to do at this point.

“If you are trying to make me feel better, please don't. I do not deserve it nor your love. Not one bit of it.” Sherlock said back to him. John's eyes widened.

“Wait, what do you mean by all of that?” John asked. Sherlock looked at the ground.

“You deserve better, John. You deserve someone in your life who is not an ex-junkie. Not to mention all the other horrible shit I have done in my life, too.” Sherlock answered. John realized what Sherlock was dwelling on this whole time. He walked over to Sherlock and stood in front of him. John took Sherlock's hands and held them in his.

“Sherlock, you do not have to be ashamed about _that_. Sometimes we go down a dark path in ours lives but it does not mean that you are still going down that path now. And it for sure does not mean I love you any less.” John told him.

“But I did _drugs_ , John. Hard drugs and not any of the light shit either. Cocaine and morphine.” Sherlock said.

“Yes, you did but you got help for it, right?” John asked.

“True but why would you want to be with someone who has done them in the first place? Even if it was years ago, why would want someone with that kind of baggage?” Sherlock asked. John felt like he was getting no where with this but he was not going to give up on his boyfriend.

“Because I love you as the person you are now and even if you were, I still would love you and get you help and the past is the past. Sherlock, I am not afraid of what could happen if you were on them. Remember, I was an army Doctor, I have seen way more worst things happen in my life.” John explained to him.

“True but what if it got really bad?” Sherlock asked.

“Then, I will by your side and help through it. Just like I am and doing now.” John told him. Sherlock looked up at him.

“You really would do that for me?” Sherlock asked.

“Of course. John replied, holding Sherlock's hands a bit tighter. A tear streamed down Sherlock's cheek.

“And you know what? Forget about Lestrade and them. They are nothing but a bunch of fucking idiots. They never had to tell me that. Plus, why should they? Because it's none of their damn business.” John added. Sherlock smiled.

“Thank you, John. I am sorry for the way I acted just now. I was just worried that you would leave me and I was scared..” Sherlock admitted.

“What?! No, never! Not going to happen and there is definitely nothing to be scared of, I promise. I am going to be with you for the lest of my life and there is nothing you can do about it.” John said in a sassy tone. Sherlock chuckled.

“I love your sass.” Sherlock said. John leaned more closer to Sherlock as well.

“And I love every, single thing about _you_.” John said back to him, now holding Sherlock in his arms and Sherlock doing the same with John. Sherlock let out a sweet, little giggle before they began to kiss each other. When they let go, Sherlock and John stood there, hugging for about a minute. Sherlock felt so much better about the situation and least stressed out about earlier. When they let go, John and Sherlock walked over to the couch and sat down and once again holding each other in their arms.

Later that night as John was working on his blog, Sherlock was looking at John, typing away on his laptop. He suddenly got up from the couch and walked over to John. He wrapped on of his arms around John and leaned down then kissed the top of his head. He stood up again next to John.

“I love you.” Sherlock told him. John stopped typing and leaned against Sherlock, smiling. John did not even have to tell Sherlock that he loved him back because his body language was already doing the talking for him.

“And I will always be by your side, too, John.” Sherlock piped up.

“Thank you, Sherlock.” John said back. There was not any doubt in John's mind that Sherlock would not be but...it felt nice to hear Sherlock assured him that he does. John sat back up on his chair as Sherlock went back over to the couch as John continued to work on his blog. Within an hour, Sherlock fell asleep on the couch. When John was getting ready for bed, he tried to wake up Sherlock but he was out cold. John took one of the couch pillows and put it under Sherlock's head and then covered him with the blanket on the couch. When he was done tucking his lover in, he leaned down and kissed Sherlock's cheek and then headed to bed but before he he left the room, he took one finally look at Sherlock and whispered out loud to him.

“I'll be here when you wake up. Goodnight, Sherlock.”

 John then turned around and finally headed to sleep for the rest of the night.

 

_**The End** _

 

 


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